Bride: Why don’t you use the oboe?

What I could have said:

1. Don’t you tell me what stops to use!

2. This is a miserable, aged, defective, decrepit, totally unreliable electronic.  The trumpet that I’m using sort of, but only sort of, sounds like an oboe.  The oboe sounds like nothing on earth.

3. This is a miserable, etc, etc.  The volume pedal is erratic, so I’m adding and removing stops to a plan instead of using it.  Your oboe isn’t part of the plan.

4. I’ve already organised and practised this with the solo on the Great.  If I switch manuals at this late stage, I’ll probably forget on the day.  You won’t like coming down the aisle to the result.

So what did I actually say? Oh, some cowardly rubbish about this particular oboe being more suitable for funerals.  But anyhow, it did the trick.