Groom: It isn’t a church wedding, it’s in a hotel.  We’ve got a minister.

Me: (thinks: wow!  This is something new).  Does the hotel have an organ?

Groom: No.  Don’t you have your own organ?

Me: (What does he think organists are? Strolling minstrels who carry their instruments on their back?)
No, I don’t. Do you know anyone with a really good keyboard?

Groom: I’ve a friend who plays keyboard in a pop group.  I’ll ask him.

Me: Sounds OK.

[Change of scene to hotel the day before the wedding.  I inspect the keyboard, which its owner has set up on its stand.  It’s complicated, but I can find the sounds I want.  I note down settings, then pause]

Me: Where’s the music rest?

Pop group player:    The what?

Me: You know, the shelf to stand the music on while you’re playing.

Pop group player: Music?!! We don’t use music!

Me: (Feeling a bit silly – whenever did you see a pop group reading music?) No, of course you don’t.  I’ll bring along a music stand.

This particular wedding went on to become quite dramatic.  To be continued …